Our Vietnamese Wedding Tea Ceremony

When we were planning our wedding, we totally didn’t think about having a traditional Vietnamese wedding tea ceremony. But my mom said it would mean a lot to her so we said why not? More reason to party and celebrate our marriage, right?! I’m so glad we agreed to it cause now we have these wonderful memories to cherish and look back on. I’m sharing everything about our Vietnamese wedding tea ceremony and our ao dais!

All photos by Natalie Hills Photography

What is a Vietnamese tea ceremony?

The purpose of a Vietnamese wedding tea ceremony is for the groom to ask the bride’s family for her hand in marriage and celebrate the union of the two families while honoring our parents, family, and ancestors. The ceremony itself is quick (about 30 minutes) and I’ll walk you through what happens during each phase.

The Procession

First, the groom’s entourage (including his family and groomsmen) comes to the bride’s house bringing flowers and mam qua, which are gifts carried in red tin trays and covered with traditional red cloth. These gifts, consisting of roasted pig, wine, tea, sticky rice, and desserts, symbolize prosperity and wealth that the groom can bring to the bride’s family. The groom’s entourage lines up in front of the bride’s house where they’re greeted by the bride’s family and bridesmaids while the bride waits in a room. After formal introductions of both sides, the bride’s family accepts the gifts and invites the groom’s family into their home to proceed with the wedding tea ceremony. I was in my parents’ room upstairs while this was all happening and definitely took a peek to see what was going on outside!

Once everyone was inside our house, my dad escorted me downstairs to finally see my handsome groom! Jeff brought me this beautiful bouquet of flowers, which was made by my brother’s girlfriend. All of the gifts were revealed and our moms lit dragon candles to symbolize the union of our two families.

The Wedding Tea Ceremony

Jeff and I proceeded with first bowing to honor our ancestors, and then bowing and serving tea to our parents. This was a very emotional part as we cried and thanked our parents for everything they’ve done for us, especially for immigrating to the US with nothing and working so hard to give us a better life. After serving tea, our parents showered us with jewelry, money, and advice for a long lasting marriage. The ceremony concluded with family and friends lining up to gift us money and provide marriage advice while we served them tea.

Let’s Party!

Traditionally, the Vietnamese tea ceremony is held early on the day of the wedding. Close family and friends attend the ceremony and then everyone heads back to the groom’s parents house to enjoy lunch together. The wedding reception is held later in the evening.

For us, it wouldn’t have logistically made sense to have the Vietnamese tea ceremony the morning of our American wedding so we celebrated it the day before. And since Jeff is Korean and his parents live in a different state, my parents hosted the luncheon. We had an array of yummy Vietnamese food like banh mi, goi, egg rolls, and banh hoi. Of course it’s not a Vietnamese celebration without some Henny shots!

Ao Dais – Traditional Vietnamese Dresses

Prior to our wedding, my mom went to Vietnam and got everyone ao dais for our wedding. And I mean everyone! I have cousins in Vietnam and they showed me lots of great options for bridal and groom ao dais. I loved my bridal ao dai with the intricate beading and long, delicate train. Jeff’s groom ao dai was very modern and had beautiful gold embroidery – doesn’t he look like a prince?! My mom picked them up while she was in Vietnam but it looks like they ship to the US as well!

For our wedding party, we took measurements of the bridesmaids and had their pink ao dais custom made in Vietnam. For the groomsmen, my mom found their gold ao dais at the Ben Thanh market in Vietnam. She also got all of the guys in our family matching aqua ao dais. Everyone looked amazing and it was so fun to see everyone rocking ao dais!

Hanboks – Traditional Korean Outfits

Since Jeff’s parents live in New Orleans, it was tough to plan a Korean tea ceremony. So while everyone was eating, we changed into Korean traditional outfits called hanboks as a way to honor Jeff’s family and culture. Jeff’s mom went to Korea earlier in the year so we asked her to find us hanboks for the wedding. She ended up getting these beautiful, colorful ones customized for us! I love that she wore one too and it really represented the union of our two cultures!

I’ll share bridal portraits of us in our ao dais with our wedding party in the next post! Hope you guys enjoyed learning about the traditional Vietnamese tea ceremony! In the meantime, check out all of my wedding posts here.